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UID:10000137-1683658800-1683662400@jewishgrandparentsnetwork.org
SUMMARY:The Torah of Being a Grandparent: How We Live our Values
DESCRIPTION:Situation: Social Status vs. Supporting a Classmate								\n				\n				\n				\n									There’s a new student in school who is struggling to make friends. You’ve recently moved up socially and while you feel bad for this student\, you don’t want to risk your social status by reaching out beyond your circle. 								\n				\n				\n				\n		\n		\n				\n				\n									Jewish Wisdom: Rachamim\, רחמים\, Compassion\, Mercy								\n				\n				\n				\n									“Be similar to Adonai\, just as Adonai is compassionate and merciful\, so too should you be compassionate and merciful.” (Babylonian Talmud\, Shabbat 133b) Welcoming a new peer is one way to turn compassion into action. “God is good to all\, and divine mercy is upon all God’s works.” (Psalm 145:9) Mercy is for all: those we know and those we don’t know. Reaching out to a new student having a hard time fitting in shows care\, kindness\, and compassion. 								\n				\n				\n				\n		\n		\n				\n				\n									Building Skills and Character: Compassion\, Mercy								\n				\n				\n				\n									Discuss the tension between wanting to belong and wanting to help someone else belong. 								\n				\n				\n				\n		\n		\n				\n				\n									Talk about it. 								\n				\n				\n				\n									Grandparent: Think of a time when you were the new person. What or who helped you feel welcome?What do you think the new student might be experiencing at school right now?Why might reaching out to the student who is not fitting in feel risky to your new social status?What might change for you socially if you reach out? Think about your friendship with your new social group as well as a possible friendship with the new student.What is the difference between feeling sorry for someone and having compassion for them?								\n				\n				\n				\n									Teen grandchild: Can you tell me about a time when you had a hard time feeling you belonged in a social or professional setting? When you were growing up\, did you ever include someone even though it wasn’t the easiest or most popular choice? What did “social status” mean when you were in high school?								\n				\n				\n				\n				\n						\n					\n			\n						\n				\n									Brainstorm possible “mensch moves.”								\n				\n				\n				\n									For example:\n\n 	Invite the new student to participate in an activity or group\, such as an afterschool club or trying out for a sports team\, without making a big deal of it. (A lunch invite might feel too risky at first.)\n 	Talk with the student one-on-one to get to know them better so that you can find out their interests and learn about their friends outside of school\, or challenges in school\, all with the goal of getting to know them and helping them fit in.\n 	Introduce the student to someone who might have something in common with them. For example\, if you find out that they like Dungeons and Dragons\, try to connect them to someone you know who shares that interest.\n								\n				\n					\n		\n				\n			\n						\n				\n																														\n				\n					\n		\n					\n		\n				\n						\n					\n			\n						\n				\n									Grandparent Note: Remind your teen that compassion doesn’t necessarily mean you have to become the student’s best friend or even risk other friendships. A small act of kindness such as a conversation\, an invitation\, or just sitting next to a person can help them feel welcome. In doing so\, your grandchild can be a model for their peers. Erica N. Hruby\, M.A. is a tween/teen expert with over 30 years of professional experience working directly with parents\, grandparents\, and tweens/teens in Jewish community\, academic\, and residential environments. She is the founder of Anchored Parenting\, LLC.  Photograph courtesy of Pexels
URL:https://jewishgrandparentsnetwork.org/event/the-torah-of-being-a-grandparent-how-we-live-our-values/
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